Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
