I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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