Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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