im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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