There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
