Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize