Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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