No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
