I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
