i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
