a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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