my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
