He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
