Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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