i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
