hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
