last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
