"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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