If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
