Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
