Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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