I wish my penis had an off switch
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
