at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
