I smell stomach acid.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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