my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize