i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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