just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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