1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
