He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
