you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Two words: blizzard sex
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
