Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
