Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
