smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i now understand why vodka
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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