He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
