question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
