you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
