roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize