Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
