Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
