Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
