Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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