wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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