why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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