Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
