Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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