The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?