He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?