i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.