What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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