Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
