No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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