It was confusing and full of hummus
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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