Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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