New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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