Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize