So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
