haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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