NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
