Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize