She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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