just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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