So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
tell me about the eggs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
